Your Mom is so Fat . . .
* Your mom is so fat, her best friends are Ronald Mcdonald, Burger King and Betty Crocker.
* Your mom is so fat, every time she turns around its her birthday.
* Your mom is so fat, she went to Disneyland and got group discounts.
* Your mom is so fat, Mcdonalds set up shop in her house.
* Your mom is so fat, Santa asked her to cover for him.
* Your mom is so fat, she needs a boomerang to put her belt on.
* Your mom is so fat, the only weiner she's got was in a bread roll.
* Your mom is so fat, her first love was Krispy Kreme.
* Your mom is so fat, I rolled over twice and I was still on top of her.
* Your mom is so fat, her will states that she wants to be donated to Ripleys believe it or not.
* Your mom is so fat, you need a Thomas Guide to find her asshole.
* Your mom is so fat, when she falls out of bed she falls on both sides.
* Your mom is so fat, when she wears a yellow coat she looks like a school bus.
* Your mom is so fat, she has her own zip code.
* Your mom is so fat, she lives in two time zones.
* Your mom is so fat, she plays hopscotch like this: California, Nevada, Arizona…
* Your mom is so fat, when her beeper goes off people think she’s backing up.
* Your mom is so fat, when she sits around the house, she literally sits AROUND the house.
* Your mom is so fat, when she goes to the beach, people yell out, "Whale Sighting!"
* Your mom is so fat, we get a drought every time she takes a shower.
* Your mom is so fat, she uses hula hoops to hold up her socks.
* Your mom is so fat, every time she walks her butt claps.
* Your mom is so fat, it takes a train to get on her good side.
* Your mom is so fat, she’s on both sides of the family.
* Your mom is so fat, she bungee jumps and goes straight to hell.
* Your mom is so fat, she jumps up in the air and gets stuck.
* Your mom is so fat, she uses the Freeway as a Slip ’n’ Slide.
* Your mom is so fat, when she wears white, she looks like the Michelin man.
* Your mom is so fat, when she wears red, she looks like the Kool-Aid man.
* Your mom is so fat, when she wears an "X" helicopters land on her.
* Your mom is so fat, she’s still waiting for someone to fill the Grand Canyon so she can take a bath.
* Your mom is so fat, when she walked past the television, I missed three episodes.
* Your mom is so fat, when she jumps she ends up in Australia.
* Your mom is so fat, she thinks that Niagara Falls is a drinking fountain.
* Your mom is so fat, she got stuck in the garage
* Your mom is so fat, she uses the Eiffel Tower as a tooth pick.
* Your mom is so fat, she has to use a satellite dish as a cereal bowl.
* Your mom is so fat, when she was a kid she could only play seek.
* Your mom's so fat it took five UFOs to abduct her.
* Your mom is so fat she has to wear Levi’s 1002s.
* Your mom is so fat, when she dances the band skips.
* Yo momma so fat we're in her right now.
* Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise
* Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone
* Yo momma so fat you haveta roll over twice to get off her...
* Yo momma so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop!
* Yo momma so fat when she has sex, she has to give directions!
* Yo momma so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized
* Yo momma so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway
* Yo momma so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller
* Yo momma so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets
* Yo momma so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"
* Yo momma so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.
* Yo momma so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!
* Yo momma so fat she wakes up in sections!
* Yo momma so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!
* Yo momma so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book!
* Yo momma so fat that her senior pictures had to be arial views!
* Yo momma so fat she's on both sides of the family!
* Yo momma so fat every time she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!
* Yo momma so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in!
* Yo momma so fat that when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips!
* Yo momma so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out!
* Yo momma so fat they have to grease the bath tub to get her out!
* Yo momma so fat they use her underwear elastic for bungee jumping!
* Yo momma so fat when they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping, they hit the ground.
* Yo momma so fat she has to buy two airline tickets.
* Yo momma so fat when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.
* Yo momma so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.
* Yo momma so fat the animals at the zoo feed her.
* Yo momma so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through
* Yo momma so fat when the bitch goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.
* Yo momma so fat she sets off car alarms when she runs.
* Yo momma so fat she cant reach her back pocket.
* Yo momma so fat the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures
* Yo momma so fat they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.
* Yo momma so fat when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?"
* Yo momma so fat that when she was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.
* Yo momma so fat the National Weather Agency has to assign names to her farts!!!
* Yo momma so fat we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet.
* Yo momma so fat she was Miss Arizona -- class Battleship
* Yo momma so fat she went on a date with high heels on and came back with sandals!!!
* Yo momma so fat she stepped on a talking scale and it told her to get the fuck off!!!
* Yo momma so fat she was zoned for commercial development
* Yo momma so fat She thought gravy was a beverage
* Yo momma so fat I took her to dinner and the waitress took her order in shorthand
* Yo momma so fat her nickname is "DAMN!"
* Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors
* Yo momma so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for then new world
* Yo momma so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy
* Yo momma so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop!
* Yo momma so fat she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"
* Yo momma so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!"
* Yo momma so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized
* Yo momma so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller
* Yo momma so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans!
* Yo momma so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave she landed on 12th
* Yo momma so fat when she bungee jumps she pulls down the bridge too
* Yo momma so fat she steps on a scale & it goes one at a time please
* Yo momma so fat she fell in love and broke it!
* Yo momma so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.
* Yo momma so fat she influences the tides.
* Yo momma so fat the Aids quilt wouldn't cover her.
* Yo momma so fat she stands in two time zones.
* Yo momma so fat I tried to drive around her and I ran out of gas.
* Yo mama is so fat, she don't cast a shadow.
* Yo mama is so fat, she ordered a double room for a singles weekend
* Yo mama is so fat, when she goes to a restaurant she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate.
* Yo mama is so fat, she had her ears pierced by harpoon.
* Yo mama is so fat, she can bump people while sitting down.
* Yo mama is so fat, she stepped on a dollar and got change.
* Yo mama is so fat, she got hit by a car and the car sued for body damages.
* Yo mama is so fat, her blood type is Ragu.
* Yo mama is so fat, she can't even jump to a conclusion.
* Yo mama is so fat that she like the Bermuda Triangle-when kids run around her they get lost.
* Yo mama is so fat, she got her baby pictures taken by satellite
* Yo mama is so fat, she went to the salad bar and pulled up a chair
* Yo mama is so fat, when she took her dress to the cleaner they said,"Sorry, but we don't do curtains."
* Yo mama is so fat, whenever she turns around they throw a welcome-back party
* Yo mama is so fat, that I really don't need to make a joke, it sells it self.
* Yo mama is so fat, she makes Shay look like the Olsen Twins
* Your mom is so fat, elephants throw peanuts at her.
* Your mom's so fat, she gets a hang over just from sitting in a bar stool.
* yo mama is so fat,she has an sign on her back that say "heavy load"
[edit] Your Mom is so Stupid . . .
* Your mom is so stupid, it takes her an HOUR to make MINUTE Rice.
* Your mom is so stupid, she got locked up in a bathroom and pissed in her pants.
* Your mom is so stupid, she tried to steal free samples.
* Your mom is so stupid, she returned a dough nut because it had a hole in it.
* Your mom is so stupid, she has no feet and complains her shoes are too tight.
* Your mom is so stupid, she tripped over a cordless phone.
* Your mom is so stupid, she set the VCR for 2 hours to record 60 minutes.
* Your mom is so stupid, she asked me "What does Yield mean?" and I said, "Slow down." And she said, slowly,
"W H A T D O E S Y I E L D M E A N ?"
* Your mom is so stupid she froze to death in a furnace
* Your mom is so stupid she burned to death in a freezer
* Your mom's so stupid, she thought a paramedic was two doctors.
* Your mom's so stupid, she tried to change the channel on a TV dinner.
* yo mama is so stupid, even though half of the jokes above were repeated, she still read every single one of them.
* Yo mamma is so stupid, she got stabbed at a shoot-out.
* Yo momma so stupid, she got hit by a parked car!
[edit] Your Mom is so Old . . .
* Your mom is so old she farts dust.
* Your mom is so old the milk in her tits is expired.
* Your mom is so old, Moses is in her yearbook.
* Your mom is so old, she owes Jesus a quarter.
* Your mom is so old she got a kickstand.
* Your mom's so old she only has two teeth, and they're both in her pocket!
* Your mom's old, she has an autographed version of the Bible.
* Your mom's so old, when she was born the Dead Sea was just getting sick.
* Your mom's so old, she reminisces when she reads the bible.
* Your mom's so old, she went to the Virgin Mary's baby shower.
[edit] Your Mom is so Ugly . . .
* Your mom's so ugly, even the shippers won't touch her!
* Your mom's so ugly, she tried to enter an ugly contest and they said "Sorry, no professionals"
* Your mom's so ugly, she walked into a haunted house and walked out with a job application.
* Your mom's house is so small, she has to go outside to eat a large pizza.
* Your mom’s teeth are so brown, she spits Yoo-hoo.
* Your mom's so ugly, when she's on the beach the tide won't come in!
* I went to your house, kicked the door, and your mom came out barking.
* Your mom's so ugly, when she got arrested they took her to the SPCA.
[edit] Your Mom is so Poor . . .
* Your mom is so stingy, she got a job at the 99 cent store just so she can get a 50% discount.
[edit] Your Mom is Liek . . .
* Your mom is like a fire hydrant, on every corner.
* Your mom is like a shotgun, two cocks: she blows.
* Your mom is like a screwdriver, everyone gets a turn.
* Your mom is like a doorknob, everyone gets a Turn.
* Your mom is like a bowling ball, she's fingered, thrown in the gutter, and keeps coming back for more.
* Your mom is like a hardware store, 5 cents a bolt, 10 cents a screw.
* Your mom is like a gas station, pump first then pay.
* Your mom is like Burger King , "Your way right away."
* Your mom is like IBM, "Solutions for a small planet."
* Your mom is like Timex , "Takes a lickin’ and keeps on tickin’ "
* Your mom is like the Eagles Theater, 75 cents on Thursdays.
* Your mom is like 7-Eleven, open 24 hours.
* Your mom is like McDonald's, "Serving Millions."
* Your mom is like Pringles, "Once you pop, you can’t stop."
* Your mom is like Taco Bell, "59, 69, 79" "79 89 99"
* Your mom is like Domino's, "Hot, Wild, Now."
* Your mom is like a rail road, laid all over the country.
* Your mom is like an SUV, big, black, and full of Mexicans.
* Your mom is like the Energizer Bunny, keeps going and going and going…
* yo mama is like a door, i banged her all night
* Your mom is like a police station, dicks go in and out of her day and night.
[edit] Your Mom is so Goth . . .
* Your mom is so Goth she makes Happy Meals cry.
* Your mom is so Goth when she had a sore throat, everyone thought she was a mime.
