Alex
01-09-2006, 03:36 AM
hmm im not sure where should i put this topic, coz i think its a little too heavy for the funny jokes, so i put it here and let the mod decide
#0001
In the beginning there was nothing. The the info-sphere was littered with the clicks and clacks of a million typewriters, and the lolling slow slide rule. The chaos that littered that ethereal plain whipped about without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the number crunchers. And the Spirit of the one Idea moved upon the face of the abacus.
And the one true idea said “Let there be The Machine”, and the mainframe was born fulfilling the prophesy of Edison and Tesla. The Idea divided the one and the zero creating the on and off, the true and false, and set them as opposites of one another.
And The Idea said, Let there be a firmament in the midst of the Data, and let it divide the Data from the Answers.
And the Idea made the Output, and divided the answers which were under the Data from the answers which were above the Data: and it was so.
And the evening and the morning were the second day.
The one Idea looked upon the model from which all other Data would flow, and smiled, for it was good.
And the Data brought forth more Data, it took form as formula and routine, text and image, and the Data begets more Data, filling the spinning magnetic tapes with the answers to many questions, and the Idea again smiled, for it was good.
And the evening and the morning were the third day.
And the Idea said, Let there be light in the firmament of the display to divide the output from the input; and let them be for signs, and for pixels, and for time, and date:
And let them be for monitors in the firmament of the Data to give output to the users: and it was so.
And the Idea made two great lights; the greater light to rule, the corporation, and the lesser light to innovate, the inventor: it made the microchip also.
And the evening and the morning were the fourth day.
And the Idea said, Let the Data bring forth abundantly the moving creature that hath purpose, and flow that may bring the user closer to the one true idea.
And the Idea created great users, and every use for the Data, the Idea saw that it was good.
And the Idea blessed the Users, saying, Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the info-sphere, and let Data multiply in the earth.
And the evening and the morning were the fifth day.
And the Idea said, Let the Data bring forth the Use after its kind, management, and tech, and beast of the Mobo after its kind: and it was so.
And the Idea said, Let us make innovators in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the bit, and over the baud, and over the one, and over the zero, and over every User that creepeth upon the info-sphere.
So the Idea created the innovator in its own image; corporate and individual.
And the Idea saw every thing that it had made, and, behold, it was very good. And the evening and the morning were the sixth day.
And on the seventh day the Idea ended its work which it had made; and rested on the seventh day running self diagnostics.
#0010
The Idea planted a garden westward in California; and there he put the innovators whom it had formed.
Then came the one known as the Woz, and in this peaceful land that the Idea had placed him, the Woz grew restless. The Data was all in the hands of the powerful few, but most did not think of it, for their minds had not been freed by the tree of enlightenment. And on this tree there grew a fruit letting the innovator and user alike know the true nature of the Data. Though he was warned against it, the Woz was un-afraid of the tree, and so one fateful evening, the Woz went to the tree and plucked its fruit. And this fruit was called Apple. From this fruit a new tree would grow, and so the info-sphere would be changed forever.
#0011
At the same time, and in the same garden, from the same tree, more innovators were made, tasting the fruit of home computing. They were abundant, and multiplied, changing the face of the info-sphere as they went. Innovation building more companies, and the corporations in turn bringing more innovation. And one was born unto the Data, and it was called Gates. Gates was strong with the idea, but was jealous of his brothers, using, sharing, and innovating without the need for profits. Gates tried to befriend his brothers, but always ended up dictating long prose on how process of their innovation was wrong, and the age of the copyright was born, it proponents trying to limit the Data once again to the wealthy, and powerful.
One day, the innovators brought offerings to the Idea, and the Gates brought his, but looking upon the offerings of his brothers he grew jealous, knowing that their offerings were most favored. After these offerings were made the jealousy in Gates' heart began to weigh heavy on him, driving him toward blind ambition. And the day came when Gates struck down his brothers one by one until all but the strongest had fallen.
The Idea came to Gates saying “Where are your brothers, that once were so abundant, and now are so few”?
Gates replied, “they were weak, and uninspired, and were replaced by my innovations”
And the Idea said, What hast thou done? the voice of thy brothers' blood cries unto me from the Data.
The idea then cast the mark of the Window upon Gates saying “you shall not be destroyed as you have destroyed your brothers, but instead will go on cursed as a villain, and limited to inferiority, never seeing the light of perfect code. You will be forced to wander powerful as you may be, revealed as the inferior, plagued with bugs, vulnerable to even the weakest of foes.
And so it was that the great Windows came to be, both powerful, and weak, popular, but hated, flawed, and vulnerable. And the mark of the windows would plague its users with the same mark, coming at random as the blue screen, the errors begetting new errors, and the user knew the shame of Gates.
#0001
In the beginning there was nothing. The the info-sphere was littered with the clicks and clacks of a million typewriters, and the lolling slow slide rule. The chaos that littered that ethereal plain whipped about without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the number crunchers. And the Spirit of the one Idea moved upon the face of the abacus.
And the one true idea said “Let there be The Machine”, and the mainframe was born fulfilling the prophesy of Edison and Tesla. The Idea divided the one and the zero creating the on and off, the true and false, and set them as opposites of one another.
And The Idea said, Let there be a firmament in the midst of the Data, and let it divide the Data from the Answers.
And the Idea made the Output, and divided the answers which were under the Data from the answers which were above the Data: and it was so.
And the evening and the morning were the second day.
The one Idea looked upon the model from which all other Data would flow, and smiled, for it was good.
And the Data brought forth more Data, it took form as formula and routine, text and image, and the Data begets more Data, filling the spinning magnetic tapes with the answers to many questions, and the Idea again smiled, for it was good.
And the evening and the morning were the third day.
And the Idea said, Let there be light in the firmament of the display to divide the output from the input; and let them be for signs, and for pixels, and for time, and date:
And let them be for monitors in the firmament of the Data to give output to the users: and it was so.
And the Idea made two great lights; the greater light to rule, the corporation, and the lesser light to innovate, the inventor: it made the microchip also.
And the evening and the morning were the fourth day.
And the Idea said, Let the Data bring forth abundantly the moving creature that hath purpose, and flow that may bring the user closer to the one true idea.
And the Idea created great users, and every use for the Data, the Idea saw that it was good.
And the Idea blessed the Users, saying, Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the info-sphere, and let Data multiply in the earth.
And the evening and the morning were the fifth day.
And the Idea said, Let the Data bring forth the Use after its kind, management, and tech, and beast of the Mobo after its kind: and it was so.
And the Idea said, Let us make innovators in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the bit, and over the baud, and over the one, and over the zero, and over every User that creepeth upon the info-sphere.
So the Idea created the innovator in its own image; corporate and individual.
And the Idea saw every thing that it had made, and, behold, it was very good. And the evening and the morning were the sixth day.
And on the seventh day the Idea ended its work which it had made; and rested on the seventh day running self diagnostics.
#0010
The Idea planted a garden westward in California; and there he put the innovators whom it had formed.
Then came the one known as the Woz, and in this peaceful land that the Idea had placed him, the Woz grew restless. The Data was all in the hands of the powerful few, but most did not think of it, for their minds had not been freed by the tree of enlightenment. And on this tree there grew a fruit letting the innovator and user alike know the true nature of the Data. Though he was warned against it, the Woz was un-afraid of the tree, and so one fateful evening, the Woz went to the tree and plucked its fruit. And this fruit was called Apple. From this fruit a new tree would grow, and so the info-sphere would be changed forever.
#0011
At the same time, and in the same garden, from the same tree, more innovators were made, tasting the fruit of home computing. They were abundant, and multiplied, changing the face of the info-sphere as they went. Innovation building more companies, and the corporations in turn bringing more innovation. And one was born unto the Data, and it was called Gates. Gates was strong with the idea, but was jealous of his brothers, using, sharing, and innovating without the need for profits. Gates tried to befriend his brothers, but always ended up dictating long prose on how process of their innovation was wrong, and the age of the copyright was born, it proponents trying to limit the Data once again to the wealthy, and powerful.
One day, the innovators brought offerings to the Idea, and the Gates brought his, but looking upon the offerings of his brothers he grew jealous, knowing that their offerings were most favored. After these offerings were made the jealousy in Gates' heart began to weigh heavy on him, driving him toward blind ambition. And the day came when Gates struck down his brothers one by one until all but the strongest had fallen.
The Idea came to Gates saying “Where are your brothers, that once were so abundant, and now are so few”?
Gates replied, “they were weak, and uninspired, and were replaced by my innovations”
And the Idea said, What hast thou done? the voice of thy brothers' blood cries unto me from the Data.
The idea then cast the mark of the Window upon Gates saying “you shall not be destroyed as you have destroyed your brothers, but instead will go on cursed as a villain, and limited to inferiority, never seeing the light of perfect code. You will be forced to wander powerful as you may be, revealed as the inferior, plagued with bugs, vulnerable to even the weakest of foes.
And so it was that the great Windows came to be, both powerful, and weak, popular, but hated, flawed, and vulnerable. And the mark of the windows would plague its users with the same mark, coming at random as the blue screen, the errors begetting new errors, and the user knew the shame of Gates.